Easy Cheesy

Thanksgiving Break!

Worked hard these last four weeks to knock out ALL the homework due in the end stretch... so worth it! Now I have no stress (minus mandatory car maintenance and repairs) and can focus on recollecting my thoughts/dreams.

Speaking of dreams, they've been crazy vivid this week.

Sometimes our brains make up the most absurd situations and we have no idea where they come from. (Or maybe we do, and horror movies aren't good before bed!)

Last night I had a dream that I was in a Jurassic Park simulator and some friends and myself were the test subjects. We had to get from point A to point B, dodging dinosaurs and collecting check points along the way while not getting eaten. Whenever I died, I would re-spawn at the last checkpoint where I was given a good 30-seconds to plan my next move before charging out into the fictional forest. I died thrice and felt something each time, it was whack!

Waking up at 10:30 this morning (yay for sleeping in!!!) I looked around my cozy dorm room in admiration that it was all a dream, then frowned because my reality wasn't what I was hoping for either.

It's not my situation, it's who I've become.

I had multiple breakthroughs this week, coming to a realization that life isn't always going to be perfect and asking for help is a GOOD thing. I talked to some close friends and family and got all the support and advice I could have asked for :) But that doesn't equate to a quick switch. Unhealthy habits and mindsets can take time to change.

Nice to know there is a substance that can easy-ify the process.

Repentance. Forgiveness.

Two things that human's are totally capable of, yet struggle the most in doing. Everyone who's on the earth has struggled with these two concepts at one point -- not one is exempt.

So what's the get-out-of-jail-free card?

Pulling down the wall of Pride.

I soooooo struggle *ahem* DID struggle with this in my last phase of life. It was becoming increasingly difficult to hear people and their hearts since my only concern was my own needs/desires. I was wondering why people didn't like me, and then realized it was because I didn't like me.

People are drawn to others who are confident and selfless, and I've been neither of those things most of my life **seriously** wish I could have matured faster, learned this sooner. But... 22 isn't my expiration date, and I can put at least six more decades into this organic mass called the human body.

I often ask the philosophical questions to myself (sometimes audibly, because that's how I function) and I end up with more questions than answers, no matter how many minutes I spend mulling. This week I've made a choice, a choice to accept reality to the extent of balance, and to change reality to the point of benefiting those around me.

This world we've been given isn't an easy fix, but to change our perspective on the world, now that's something else entirely.